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By em357357 on Sat, 02-25-12, 18:44

Posted in Group:

Do you ever get those periods of time where you're doing amazing and you feel great? And then you look in the mirror and think what the hell am I doing to myself? I am so fat. My body is gross. I hate it. I can feel my anorexia coming back and I have so many thoughts to purge. I am eating less and less every day. I am so tired of being this fat girl who was raped and abused her whole life and is the fuck up. I want to be thin, beautiful and amazing. Why can't I be normal? Why is my life so screwed up?

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By searching4freedom on Mon, 02-27-12, 09:34

I cannot relate to everything you said but I certainly can to feeling so fat and disgusting after trying so hard to do what I've been told to do in order to recover. I have felt like just giving up and going back to my old ways. It's so hard to be strong sometimes. That's why I'm here too. To learn what to do to not fall back and somehow find peace with myself and others. I certainly don't want to be fat either!

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By em357357 on Mon, 02-27-12, 13:51

i'm 17 on june 15, so legally i am not able to get help for myself. my parents are not allowing me to get help. they think i don't need it. they are so mad that i'm on this site and might block it. i just want help. any advice on what i can do?

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By searching4freedom on Mon, 02-27-12, 15:42

Maybe there is a counselor at school you could talk with, a pastor? If they really are that strict, perhaps a friend's parents?
I remember dealing with this before I turned 18, and I went to talk to my pastor about it but she said due to what I was telling her I would have to tell my parents..You do need help though. I remember feeling so alone.
If nothing else, maybe confiding in the right friend would help.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this too.
I wish I had a better answer for you.

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By searching4freedom on Mon, 02-27-12, 15:46

My best advice is to not give up. There has to be a way out there to get help. And if you are almost 17 ( I was 15 when I sought help with the pastor) you might be considered old enough she wouldn't have to tell if your parents are that against it-or whoever else you tell.
My parents just let it go. I don't think they knew how to deal with it.

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By searching4freedom on Mon, 02-27-12, 15:48

It's too bad your parents can't seem to be convinced that you do need help.
Maybe someone could help you talk with them and help them to see how helpful it could be for all of you.

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