"BAD Body Image";The emotional connection

By janurse on Sun, 07-24-11, 08:21

Posted in Group:

Because so many people struggle with the aspect of body image and the discomfort of how they 'feel' in their bodies, I thought I would bring this up for discussion.
For myself, coming to terms and putting this aspect of the eating disorder and recovery behind me, definitely took the longest.
Hindsight has been my best teacher, no doubt, and I'd like to share some of things I have come to realize and understand.
The 'fat' feelings and hatred for my body came directly from how I equated myself to how I looked. And how I saw myself was all connected to not believing I was worthy, loveable or even 'nice'....let alone someone who people would accept. Acceptance and fear of rejection, to me, was all centered around how I believed others 'saw' me, quite literally.
My self-confidence and self-esteem were directly entwined with how I saw and felt about my body.
I started challenging my beliefs first by noticing when I 'felt' more uncomfortable, and then I would literally 'tell' myself that it wasn't truly physical, but it was emotional. Then, I asked myself what am I feeling, and what am I holding in, and not expressing? I couldn't always answer that, but interrupting the process helped me to separate my physical discomfort from my thoughts. Eventually, whether I could come to a clear conclusion or not about what was going on, simply reminding myself that my discomfort was emotional in nature, helped me to move on and not engage in symptoms or self-degradation because of it.
I also began challenging my beliefs that people would reject me, which had held me captive for many many years. I expected to be shunned, but the beautiful thing was, I never was! The more I challenged this, and proved my beliefs wrong, the more confident I became.
This increase in self-acceptance and confidence helped me tremendously. I no longer feel the body discomfort. I do not equate my identity to my body or shape. And I approach life and it's experiences with my eyes wide open. If anyone has a problem with that, it's not my concern.
I would love feedback....what have you learned or experienced during your own journey?
Wishing you all the best,

Jan ♥

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By janurse on Sun, 07-24-11, 12:50

Would love some input...♥

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By stonemala on Mon, 07-25-11, 06:15

sweet jan...

bad body image IS the most difficult aspect for me also.... pair that with my equating *feeling* with being physically *full*, and you have basically described the confusion that i have been feeling.

i have learned that i DO feel my emotions quite viscerally, and that eating much of anything creates great fullness for me. but? i lived THROUGH those times of great fullness in treatment. the support and real love that i recieved from the staff and from others suffering as i was suffering helped to push me through. now that i am home, i write A LOT in order to try to hold on to some of that support and love.

my therapist asks me each visit how i am FEELING about something or another- and just b/f i open my mouth to answer, she always blurts *fat is NOT a feeling*. being put in a position to form words and actually SPEAK them aloud WITHOUT using the word *fat* or *huge* or *big* or *heavy* has been such a challenge... but i'm doing it. without the op to SPEAK aloud the descriptiveness of how i'm feeling without using my familiar terms has been SO VERY HELPFUL. i prove to myself each time that i DO feel something other than just feeling big.

reminding myself that this is a journey is also helpful. when my kids are exhibiting behaviors of which i am not fond, it is EASY for me to remind myself that it will take time for them to change and that change doesn't happen over night. i am trying to have the same patience with myself and with this process. it's an evolutionary and adaptive process- that takes TIME.

and yes, that whole acceptance/ rejection is VERY problematic for me. baby steps. i try to put myself out there a little more and then a little more. it's not easy, by any means. some days i retreat and flip out and wish away my life. but those days are getting a teeny bit fewer. being able to EXPRESS how i feel to someone- a therapist, friend, partner, parent- is soooooo important for me. when it is inside my head and heart, it fills my body with poison---and i am consequently too *full* to eat.

thank you, hon, for this discussion. i have been struggling with this process outside of treatment- and it is good for me to peck out what i have learned... to remind myself that DID live while i was in treatment.....and that adapting those skills to my own life can and will happen.

much love and namaste
amy

http://aweighkenED.blogspot.com/

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By janurse on Tue, 07-26-11, 03:34

Amy....as always, thank you for sharing....♥

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