Can I ever trust him again?

You cant blame yourself you couldnt have seen it coming no one expects these type of things especially out of family,and your family by telling you to get over it is not good for your healing at all they are minimizing it, and by doing that they are actually making it harder for you to move on.....how old are you now? have you thought of talking to a therapist or something? do you think they would help you with that since they don't want to listen.

I know I shoudnt blame myself but I do I'm 14 now it happened when I was 12 and yea they don't like it when I mention it so it's something I keep to myself. Yes I go to therapy once a week

I know what you mean I had a uncle just like your cousin & my family knew & still made me go to family reunions with the creeper. Seeing it coming was probably not possible for you after all you were only 12. It is difficult not to blame yourself especially if you trusted your cousin before it happened but it was not your fault. I hope you do not have to see him anymore. Do you talk to your therapist about the it? I know what it is like to have your family want you to forget about something that is impossible to forget so soon. Don't give up.

I know.....the weird thing is i do want to see him to see his face when he sees me or what he will do or say to me
Yes i did tell my therapist whenever i have a nightmare of him i tell her about it and thank you its nice to talk to someone who has gone through it cause then they know what to say to help you get through it

I kinda know what you mean about wanting to see his face or wondering what he will do. I always wondered on the way to family reunions before I finally quit having to go if he would be there/ what would he say or do. He did not speak to me for years but he always looked at me in a way that made me want to take a bath. He was a large part of the reason for my ED the first time. He called me a big girl & so I starved myself in a efffort to be little so I would be safe from him. My Uncle died a few years ago & againest the wishes of my Dr & my therapist I went to the funeral. I just wanted to see his face & in his case make sure he was really gone. I loved him so much before he hurt me I thought he was the greatest person in the world. He would always play with us kids chasing us around the house saying "the Boogieman is going to get you" I still get upset if someone says that word around me. He raped me & made me feel like it was my fault by calling me a big girl. People like my uncle & your cousin know how to manipulate people into thinking that whatever they do to you it is your fault. It might be ok to be around your cousin idk but be careful. Once a creeper always a creeper.

Im sorry to hear that sounds like whats happening to me except he didnt rape me atleast i dont remember if he ever did cause he could have when i was smaller but i dont remember.I hope things are getting better for you.My cousin is why i am anorexic and having problems in my home with my dad and brothers made it worse

I am sorry to hear this hun I wish there was an easy solution to these type of things.......but there never is.... I don't think you should have to see him if you wish not to, but I understand how it is with family sometimes you have no choice...If you do don't trust him....as shown above they use that trust against you....I was abused by my brother and without my trust I doubt he would have gotten away with it..... Im not saying be afriad of him because its never good to live in fear.......but keep your gaurd up around him always! and if something doesnt seem right trust YOUR instinct not your families.......sometimes our family finds it easier to brush things like this under the rug and not deal with it, as mine did for many years and this isnt your fault nor is there any way for you to change it..... I am now 21 and I know this sounds like something you hear from a parent or teacher......but really....try to do your very best in school and put your energy into that......me I went the opposite direction I didnt care about school and was always in trouble.....and I know this was due to the abuse and not my fault...but the fact I did poorly in school really limits me..... I am forced to live with and rely on my family.......and they still sweep this under the rug......if your family doesnt support you do your best to try hard in school so you will be able to be independent....I know its hard and I wish you the best :)

Yea I will always keep my guard up around him. I'm so sorry to hear that my brother abused me too he used to punch me,push me into things, and twice he tried breaking my leg and arm. And yes I'm studying hard so I cab go to college and then eventually move out.

And thank you so much you have really good advice

You are very welcome, and thank you its nice to know something good can come out of this and that is being able to help others! That is great you are thinking about you future you seem like a very smart girl, and should have no trouble :) I wish you the best of luck! I am sorry to hear of your brother also.... You are a very strong young lady, and don't let anyone try to tell you or make you feel differently! Keep in touch I am always here if you need to talk :)