Complete 180

OMG. whoever you are i've been going through the exact same thing!! exactly 100% the same..i cant even explain i feel the same way right now! yesterday i went on a huge binged after a week of eating healthy and great excersize..and now i feel disgusting and i dont even know what to do all i can think about is how much i ate and how much i cant wait to not eat again for days until im thin again..i have to see my friends and my boyfriend todayy and i have to cancel because i look disgusting and this ED has even made me miss out on soo many oppurtniites ! i know exactly how you feel and im going through the exact same thing..im sooo shocked than someone iss like me because i thought i was the only person who goes through this crazzyyy time!..

OMG. whoever you are i've been going through the exact same thing!! exactly 100% the same..i cant even explain i feel the same way right now! yesterday i went on a huge binged after a week of eating healthy and great excersize..and now i feel disgusting and i dont even know what to do all i can think about is how much i ate and how much i cant wait to not eat again for days until im thin again..i have to see my friends and my boyfriend todayy and i have to cancel because i look disgusting and this ED has even made me miss out on soo many oppurtniites ! i know exactly how you feel and im going through the exact same thing..im sooo shocked than someone iss like me because i thought i was the only person who goes through this crazzyyy time!..

Allee...you are not crazy, but the eating disorder can cause you to do some irrational things, and to believe you are crazy. Please get help NOW. Don't wait. It will only make things worse and harder for you to recover. Take care...Jan ♥

Allee,
This is the ED speaking not you...you are not crazy at all. But i would say you definitely need help now, don't deny this for yourself...eating disorders can have extreme long term effects especially when it comes to a woman's fertility.

ED's are very complex and distructive, it's not your fault you feel this way, you just to engage a port to battle your way out.

My advice is not to make the decision to - go into starvation mode and "tackle it that way"...that is the slippery slope of the ED and it is only fueling the fire furthur.
The most powerful decision you can make is to say hey I am go and get help for this, because I deserve to live a life ED free.

We are all behind you hun, and understand your troubles. Keep coming back for support.

Try to de-stress and take back your control.

Thinking of you
Your friend
Moongal x

When I started losing weight, I enjoyed all the attention and praise I received. I also found myself in a new job with greater responsibility. I had a great fear of failure, and I worried because everyone seemed to expect more from me than I felt I had to give. I asked for help. I did not receive any. More and more was demanded of me. And I crumbled. I, too, sought to lose more weight. Part of it was my desire to keep the comforting behaviors going. But a big part of it was my desire to look sick. Which is horrible... I just felt like no one was listening to me! Asking for help was a REALLY big deal for me... To have my request ignored... Ouch! I had to speak louder, but I didn't feel I COULD. So... I starved. I let my body SHOW them what they could not hear... 'Help me!' My body screamed for help! 'Look at me! I am not as strong as you think I am! Somebody protect me! Take care of me! Rescue me!' I needed LOVE... More than anything... The trouble is... Starving brings LOTS of things... But seldom does it bring what we WANT... Ultimately, my health suffered... My job performance suffered. Responsibilities were removed, and respect was lost. I received pity instead of praise. People DID notice I was sick and needed help. But no one knew how to do so. And by that point, I was truly stuck.

Please keep trying... The ED is feeling threatened right now, so it's clinging on, telling you all sorts of lies. You're also scared to let it go, as much as you want to... I get it... But and eating disorder will never bring you what you want... It will only ever bring pain and suffering. PLEASE seek help... You CAN recover! You are worth the fight! ♥

Love,

Jen

I know I know I need help... I wanted help but no one gave it to me. I talked to my boyfriend last night about how I feel like crap and just fat and disguisting. He triedto make me feel better, he always does. But it's not the same as getting treatment because I still want to starve and be skinny . Even though I know he loves me and so do many others, ED doesn't care and I know. I know I am happy with out ED, but I still want it. My security blanket...

Allee,

There's no real security with Ed... There just can't be security with something that is working to destroy you... :0/ You're right; your boyfriend's love is important, but you do need treatment... :) I know you asked before... Are you ready to ask again? Tell them what you NEED. :) You're not asking for their opinion, you're asking for their help. Be specific. Be clear. Show them how you need them to help. ♥

Love to you!

Jen

This is my every day. I've got a bunch of health issues caused by this. I got so bad that my friends forced me to go to the doctor... I always knew it was me and that I could stop it.

She told me to start looking at food positively and try to eat and enjoy healthy meals... which is just a fancy way of crash dieting. I just can't see food as good. I see it as guilt, as pounds, as extra "squish" and as that ever receding boundary between just thin enough and who I am. Food WEIGHS ME DOWN. How can I make it into something uplifting?

I am going through the horrible cycle also it suck im happy then sad out of the blue! One day i feel pretty or skinny the next im depressed and look like a huge fatty in the mirror. ive never been able to see myself the way i look since i had an eating disorder, and it makes me so angry cause it never leaves even when you change your eating habits. I began vegetarian because i thought it would help but that wasn't good enough then I became vegan and started to eat way under the calorie intake I needed. It was like the voice in my head was finding ways around to start me back up on anorexia. so now i eat meat cause I knew I needed a break from being vegan it was dictating my mind. Im thinking about starting it again just because I liked the control. I even stand sideways against my shower where there is tile and measure how thick i am because the mirror only tells lies. I hate how im possessed by these thoughts and no one understands.