First step

By alexis on Fri, 01-27-12, 19:59

Posted in Group:

Anorexia

Im finally seeking help, I am a little nervous and scared but my anger is what urged me to be typing this. I want to confess how i feel inside and what ive been through so someone can help. I started in 7th grade unknowingly and i dropped to 95 lbs and was 5'4' then 8th grade I had 3 choices i gave myself 0 calories 50 and 100 that was my daily limit then I made sure I worked out till i was seeing black. I got to 93 lbs. I did everything i new marked my self on the wall showing progress, measured myself, sucked in and tied scarfs around my self as tight as possible to hold myself together while i slept. My sister found my calorie and workout log i kept track off and my journal. She told my other sibling who told my parents, and I lost it. I didnt know what to do they just looked at me and kept asking why?! why?! your skinny! your to skinny! I sat crying speechless. I envied them for seeing that, I despised my body. Till this day I envy people who can be comfortable in their own skin or see themselves for who they are. Ive tried everything to get over this wall ive built and I have ran out of ideas. I cry almost everyday from this and I just need it to be done. I cant keep hiding this.

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By Simone86 on Sat, 01-28-12, 23:54

Hi, and welcome to this site, this is a great place to come to both recieve and give out pro-recovery advice and support. Just one quick note, as this is a pro-recovery support we ask if members refrain from posting numbers around weights,calories,BMI's etc as some may find this triggering and unhelpful for their recovery.

From what you have described it sounds like you are heading down the path of an eating disorder. Anorexia, bulimia and EDNOS are very serious illnesses that can destroy your life. I should know, Im only just starting to fight mine after 11 years of struggle. In saying this I would strongly suggest that you get help from proffessioals if you are serious about getting over this and resuming a normal and happy life. These proffessionals can include your doctor, a dietician/nutritionist, a therapist as well as getting close family and friends on board to help you fight this illness. The more support you have, the better your chances of recovery. I have just checked myself into an inpatient program, and would not have been able to come as far in my recovery as I have if it weren't for my support network around me.

Please, I urge you to get help now before this disorder consumes and ruins your life too

Keep us posted in how you get on xx

Simone

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By alexis on Sun, 01-29-12, 11:28

thankyou :)
I'm going to talk to a therapist as soon as I can I've been to one before but she was no help so I'm going to look for someone better hopefully it will help

There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way.

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