introduction of sorts

i'm new here. i have dealt with anorexia for about 18 years now and it's spiraled out of control to include shoplifting, major ocd, food hoarding (food that i eat, but i acquire more than i need- i.e., i have about 40 boxes of cereal in my cabinet). i am 35 years old and NEVER thought i would be where i am today. i have an excellent education (B.A. in english lit. and a masters in psychology- ironic, i know), but no career/no job. i've been on medical disability for 6+ years, am on food stamps, and have one mark on my CORI (criminal record) for an arrest for shoplifting back in 2007 (the case was dismissed, so i assumed there would be nothing on my record, but no so much).

i am spinning. i have gotten caught shoplifting multiple times and have attended court. my parents are older than those of my peers (dad is 75, mom is 70) and this is killing them. all my peers (those that i know of) are married and with kids and i am living alone in a dump of a 1-bedroom apartment where my world is my ed. i have a ritual of going to about 4 supermarkets each morning and even though i got caught shoplifting recently, i went out and did it again the next day. i know and have been told that there is no specialist who can help me with the shoplifting issue. i have no idea why this component added itself to my anorexia, but i have heard that co-morbidity is common for people with eating disorders.

i have no friends...literally only know this one woman who i hang out with rarely (she's 8 years older than me) and the conversation always revolves around my problems /issues. i can't seem to escape it. i am scared to death of treatment (was inpatient years ago as well as did an outpatient program, but i can't seem to get my act together lately to get myself treatment now).

anyway, i hope to receive some support (and give, in return) here.

thanks,
plainsong